TODAYS MIXTAPE: He’s almost TOO good looking

ps. i spent a lot of time and energy making this mixtape the best fucking thing ever. so enjoy it. or you can learn this to eradicate yourself from any false knowledge.

The dictionary describes a Sex Kitten as: a term that typically refers to a woman who exhibits a sexually provocative lifestyle or an abundant sexual aggression. 

I felt these ladies embodied that spirit over the century. And are known for it. 

Obviously the list might be a little biased but I refrained from putting Kate on it or any of the fab 5.. They are their own thing. These girls are known for driving men INSANE. 

and so here we go:

1920’s

1. Ciara Bow 

You know how much I love an “it girl” and this one seems to fit the description perfectly.. well, all flappers seem to. Ciara rose to stardom in the silent film era of the 1920s. She was the ideal flapper, with short skirt, small breasts, and bobby hair. She was basically what I want to be

 She made the movie “It” with its original title “SEX” that would never have made it through the sensors back in the olden days of the 1920’s. In another of her movies called “Down to the Sea in Ships”, the actress attempted to overcome her youthful looks so she put her hair up and wore a dress she “sneaked” from her mother. (omg.. but i think that was a big deal) She also prepares for her date with the boss, in a scene where her girlfriend trying hard to assist her uses a pair of scissors to modify her dress in order to look more “sexy”. In the 20’s I think that was a little taboo. But who knows. Sounds like a normal night getting ready to go out to me. hahahahahahah

 She the turned singer and was the subject of wild rumors regarding her sex life. She was accused of exhibitionism, incest, drug addiction, and lesbianism by a tabloid called The Coast Reporter. She was blackmailed to give $25,000 to cease printing the stories. Bow was rumored to swing with entire members the 1927 University of Southern California football team. (yum.. Marc Sanchez and Reggie Bush) Unfortunately she became addicted to drugs, got fat and went kinda crazy. SHIT SUCKS. 

 
2. Jean Harlow
There is something about Jean Harlow that is crazy hot. Maybe its her bleach blonde hair. You know i’m a sucker for blondes. Anyway, she ran away from home at the age of 16 to marry the 23 year old Charles McGrew which is pretty hot in itself…  They moved to Los Angeles, where she got small parts in movies but made it big in one of Howard Hugh’s films. 

SIDENOTE: I think she was played by Gwen Stephanie in the Aviator..I’m so not a Gwen Stephanie fan. I think its bc I hate male bands w/ a female singer. Maybe I just always hated No Doubt. 

 She and McGrew divorced in 1930, and two years later she married screenwriter Paul Bern.  He committed suicide just two years later. (and I think breakups are bad) In 1933 she married Harold Rosson, but they divorced only six months later. This is getting good!!! Getting married multiple times is seriously the way to go.. as long as you’re not marrying some poor nobody. 

Some ppl call her the original blonde bombshell, and Harlow was not afraid of her overt sexuality, posing nude at only 17 years old (hell yea, that’s when you have to do it).  She is also rumored to never wear underwear and sleep in the nude. Neither of these are a big deal.. but I guess they were back then. Whatevs. shes hot. 
 

1930’s

3. Mae West

I’m sure most everyone in the world knows Mae West’s story but seriously.. I could not have made this list and left her off it. 

 
So, Mae made her name for herself on the stage in New York. West was one of many controversial movie stars of her day, encountering numerous problems including censorship. West served 10 days in jail for her performance her first play “Sex” on Broadway. 
 

Her following play “The Drag” was also about homosexuality. “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me” is one of her many famous quotes. Daring ‘30s star Mae West, who will mostly be remembered for her naughty quotes “Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me” and “I remember our date and have the splinters to prove it,” penned three plays all revolving around sexuality. 

 

The first was simply titled Sex, which ran on Broadway for a couple of weeks before being axed for indecency. Mae’s second production was called The Drag (about gay men) and her final attempt was The Pleasure Man. The last two were quickly banned from Broadway. Fucking awesome. She also wore furs like exclusively and dressed like a female pimp in my opinion. NICE. 

 

1940’s 

4. Rita Hayworth

Rita Hayworth’s actual life was kinda boring but again, there is no way I couldn’t keep this historical off the list. Shes super famous because she was THE pin up girl during WWII.

Shes best known for her sultry portrayal of Gilda, or her innate glamor who does that hair flip thing when some dude asks if she’s decent… “Who, me????” I have to do that at some point in my life. HAHAHAHAH.You have to say… you want to be her during that point. I read somewhere that Gilda’s over the top character was nothing like Hayworth in real life.. oh well, who cares, it is all pretend anyway. 

 She also gets points for getting divorced FIVE fucking times and dancing w/ Fred Aistaire. She gets a shout out in Madonna’s Vogue and which is rad too. I love that song. Like thats original. 

 

1950’s/1960’s

5. Marilyn 
This one is  obvious.. but also obviously she had to be on the list. (that is becoming kinda a trend here) It’s a shame that loving Marilyn Monroe has become something of a cliché, because she truly was a one of a kind. 

 In true sex kitten form, she once said, “sex is a part of nature.  I go along with nature.”  She was unabashedly sexy, tortured, and the ultimate damsel in distress. I mean fuck.. she oDed. 

 Here are some things you might not know about her: Hugh Hefner already has his grave picked out and it is in LA right next to Marilyn’s who happened to be on the first cover of playboy. . I wonder how happy she is about that. I bet she wanted to be buried next to Bobby. 

Andy famously made multiple multiple screen prints of Marilyn. Andy viewed celebrity as a sort of new form of god, worshiped by their fans. and some argue that the mass produced images Marilyn as a commentary on how people will do anything to get their celebrity fix. His many alterations and distortions of the portrait is what he felt mass media did to all people. He used his painting as a sort of tell all on the dark side of celebrity. But I think Andy just extorts everyone so who knows about that… and had a sick talent i want called “making everybody love me“

monsieur de congratulations. asshole. 

6. Raquel Welsh
People rarely know tht before Raquel Welsh is like the pin up of all pin ups (wait.. wasn’t that Rita Hayworth?) she was a newscaster. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Female newscasters from the 70’s remind me of anchorman. I’m such a blonde.
But seriously,  Hell, I want a pin up of her if only because its like the most iconic thing ever.. altho it does remind me a little bit of star wars or something which I am NOT into.. After she wore that little fur bikini as Barbarella (which btw was the weirdest movie ever.. i’m sorry I know its a cult classic but… WTF???) men went crazy over her. I mean, yea those legs….She’s gorgeous, why am I hating?
But besides that being a legendary beauty/sex symbol  her life reads kinda like a boring book assigned to you in high school.. (read: Shakespeare.. no offense to you nerds that like to sit down w/ a good read like Henry the VIII)

1970’s

7. Bridget Bardot
 
This bitch is like SERIOUSLY the ultimate sex kitten. Good god. Another Pin up (I guess that was like what dudes masturbated to back in the day.. seems weird) dudes didn’t know a whole lot about her because she was French and the number of cultured men in America is like almost negative now.. i’m assuming it was also dwindling then. 

 But her sex kitten persona and the interest shown in by American men out does almost anyone else on this list… maybe.. okay thats debateable.  I read one account of this boy who said “My mom says it was like the boys in school had never seen a girl before.”  She was French, exotic, sexy, and adorable all at the same time.  

 She was in some American movies, but her modeling and pin-ups were far more popular.  Even her poorly-dubbed French films that aired in the US were popular and you know a dude has to be super into a hot actress to watch a foreign film. UGH.  American men simply couldn’t get enough of her. I can’t either. She reminds me of Lara Stone a little. I guess beauty repeats itself. I wonder if she would get the Calvin Klien ad campaign. 
 
 
8. Farrah Faucet

Charlie’s Angel, red bikini.. thats all. Not only was she super hot too.. but she was also married to the Six Million Dollar Man, Steve Austin (Lee Majors).  That was major street cred back in the day (so I read) so hell yea for that..  

 Also, after doing a little research.. people with feet fetishes are obsessed w. her feet. hmm… Interesting and disgusting.

 NEXT!




1980’s
I’m skipping the 80’s bc I don’t feel like writing about Madonna. Go research her yourself. 

1990’s

9. Pamela Anderson
OMG first of all..do you remember when Pam Anderson was on Home Improvement? TOOL TIME. hahahah that shit is hilarious.

 Anyway, i”m not sure the timeline of her boob jobs but I know she had some work done by her Playboy debut in 1989 (and continued to make hte cover until something like 2008). I wonder if she slept w/ Hef. I think she was the face of Guess for a little too. 

 Besides being like oozing sex in an almost awkward way.. she cemented herself in the sex kitten hall of fame for her sextape w/ Tommy Lee which I am kinda pissed that I”ve never seen.  Stating the obvious here: but she was also famous for shaking her titties in that red bikini in Baywatch.. but I never saw that show so I don’t have much to say abt that. I feel like it was a show for boys my age to watch and jerk off to after school. SICK. They get all these hot guys and we get whats his name.. that hairy dude who sucks. 

10. Kate Upton
I was on the fence about this one but I figured If you get two Sports Illustrated covers in a row you’ve got something going on.

She kinda reminds me of the 1970’s blonde supermodels who were all California blondes and not especially skinny.. like Laura Hutton before Gia came along and changed everything. Honestly, I’m not that into her so I”ll leave you w/ this cute little move that she did. How middle America:

http://player.ooyala.com/iframe.js#pbid=695aba2fa0e6459797bb6076f4e03323&ec=xicGt1NjrtRYuBTbo_tyd3qarpvbQygS

 

 

 

OKAY. and to finish off here’s an article on whether or not you’re a sex kitten yourself that I found on lovepanky.com. HAHAHAH beware, you might be surprised by the results: Do you like having sex more than you like falling in love?


XOXOXO,

E

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