Taylor Swift’s Shameless Fame Whoring on 4th of July

Now that Taylor Swift is broken up with Calvin Harris and is trying our a new beau for the 50th time….the 4th of July left her with the perfect opportunity to introduce the fresh meat to her closest friends in an intimate get together without a lot of press.

  I feel like these girls spent the stupid holiday braiding each other’s hair, making friendship bracelets and sharing stories about kissing boys (gasp) while mom in busy inside making snacks.

As if this is a new statement: Taylor Swift was and is now officially the bane of my existence. And you have to think twice about her stupid catchy songs about falling in love and having her heart broken when she is clearly writing them on her tire swing at her childhood house with a pink pen with a little fuzzy doilie on top of it, thinking about the next guy she can dump in order to bond with her ever increasing hoard of BFFs. You almost have to feel bad for this new Tom Hiddleston fellow– falling into the trap with so much naivite it almost makes for a sad love story. 

The fact that all the stupid girls in these pictures are tall and thin and pretty and have millions of Instagram followers makes it a perfect opportunity to have a quiet, intimate, just between the girls and the new boy…away from the public eye. I don’t know if you have friends but Taylor definitely does!! LOOK! SEE THEM ALL???? SEEE?????

Guests to this pathetic excuse for a small intimate bonding experience with 5,687 of Taylors closest friends included Blake Lively, Karlie Kloss, Cara Delevigne, Ruby Rose,Uzo Aduba, Gigi Hadid, and Ryan Reynolds. (Yea fucking boring ass Ryan Reynolds couldn’t leave his blonde barbie doll made of edible plastic at home even if it meant spoiling girl time) My eyelids are rolling so far back in my head I think they are stuck. 

I mean whatevs, bitch knows how to have fun, while pretending that this isn’t some sort of impromptu fashion shoot that is completely non-staged, spontaneous and completely in the name of girl power- not to mention in the name of patriotism. I’m sure these pictures bring a smile to the whole country. Check out the pictures below if you can keep your lunch down. 

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