so I had a horrible thing happen to me. My boyfriend moved ouT AND IT was a un-real experience like from a horror movie which I have now been severely scared from and no girl should have to EVER experience. This is like the worst feeling i’ve ever had. I thought when he took his shit out of my apt on Wednesday I was going to literally die. Breakups seem to be the evilest thing ever invented. Okay that’s not true but crying for like 3 days straight is so not okay. Helluh??? this is horrible for my mental health!!!!!!
I haven’t been thru anything like this in years and I keep going through emotions of wanting to kill him for leaving me and then wanting him back. My brain is in totally psycho mode. I feel like I belong in the crazy ppl ward at Bellevue. Being over dramatic in the first place is clearly not helping things. Plus I’m emotional as shit so this is like seeming like the end of the world for me.
Luckily I have friends who, while its annoying, keep telling me this stupid, crappy, unimaginable, nightmarish time in my life is a time to rediscover myself. UGH, I hate advice like that but i’m so distraught over this fucking breakup that I’m listening to shit that sounds like it belongs in a hallmark card just bc I don’t have the energy or emotional stability to tell them that their advice is pissing the shit out of me. I know it’s mean but it is so not me to be so sappy. But half of me is like too weak to complain and a little bit of me takes comfort in these little sayings which is even more bizarre. maybe you need a little lameness in times of severe emotional and mental turmoil. un peu?
Who knows, they are probably right but.. whatever I’m still in serious mourning. I should start wearing a black veil in mourning for my previous life. All the little pix in this post are inspirational pix my friends sent me to try and cheer me.HMMMnot exactly working. but Helpful I suppose. That is minus the Dino at the top which clearly I picked since I feel like I’m getting eaten slowly by a ferocious prehistoric monster. or at least my heart is. dramatic enough?
I;ll just have to listen to anything that cheers me up… i fucking guess. exhibit one: Lily Allen: Smile
I guess I need to focus on being strong and independent like my role models. Namely Kate. hahaha. She broke up w/ Pete Doerhty, fuck up extraordinaire and got out of her cocaine scandal and now is married and just as awesome as ever.. if not more. There can always be a light at the end of the tunnel, right? God kill me now I’m so not myself I would have never said something so lame. God dammit.
So now that I verbally puked all of my neurotic thoughts re: this break up on to today’s post…….Today’s mix is totally ADD but some songs are happy-ish and some will make you want to slit your wrists. Enjoy.
end note FYI: most of the wrist slittng songs are near the end.. so maybe you wont get there.