PLS EXPLAIN: how did PEPSI afford the best ads ever?

Okay, one of pop culture’s greatest mysteries: how in hell did Pepsi afford the hottest ppl to be in it’s ads for over a decade and still manage to suck ass compared to coke?

View Exhibit A: Cindy Crawford’s famous Pepsi commercial aired during the 1992 Superbowl

she was 25 years old and god shes so fucking hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adriana Lima may have booked 2 superbowl ads this year but obvi they didn’t even touch the iconic Pepsi commercials. I’m glad I was alive when there were actual supermodels but it kinda sucks that I didn’t appreciate it enough.

And now welcome Exhibit B: in 2003 Pepsi got Beyonce in a commercial when “crazy in love” came out which was one of my fave, fave, fave songs. That was back when I liked her and JayZ as a couple.. Ugh little did I know that her rela w/ JayZ was going to become the new empire of fucking hiphop and dance and rap and everything basically and then pop out a fetus named BLUE IVY. ugh, i still cannot get over how much i despise that name. God, I wonder what Kim and Kanye are going to name thier little terror.

Then in 2001 BritBrit started all those pepsi one commercials.. back in her glory days and could actually dance. I miss old Britney!!! (as you know) I think she was prob even w/ Justin when this ad came out. maybe n’sync still existed too!! MEMORIESSS. Okay, so basically pepsi did some pretty good and obviously expensive marketing campaigns.

OMG and then I forgot about the brilliant ad Pepsi had w/ Michael Jackson. These stars don’t come cheap. My friend and I suck at money but were assuming these bitches are getting like at least 100K to be in these commercials (after all naomi did say she wouldn’t get out of bed for less than 10K). They prob also got all the free pepsi they could drink for 5 lives worth. Ugh, maybe thats why they all are either dead or suck. (excluding Cindy)

Jesus, how did Pepsi come up with this much money to spend on ad campaigns with all the best pop stars but fail to actually get anyone to drink that shit. Too bad Pepsi sucks ass compared to coke. I mean, it is doable occasionally when there is no other option but.. blech.

Seriously, why did these ads not work fucking marketing wonders??