To start heres a quote from EP:
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.
Nothing is less important than which fork you use. Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is honor.
To do exactly as your neighbors do is the only sensible rule.”
So going with the last post about Emily Post I decided to delve a little deeper and put my knowledge to work. Wow. there are a shit load of rules. There are rules for guests and hostesses below. In all honestly i’ll never throw some awesome dinner like that but how much better does it make you feel that you know how?
And one more rant: I am sick of people not following Emily Posts rules. especially during weddings. its like.. heres basically a handbook on how to make your wedding or dinner party or tea time perfect and yet you refuse to read it saying that its some feminist bullshit. Whatever the events inevitable turn into a mini shit show. not my problem.. and i’m working on that but it still really gets me every time.
So here are the rules for a good dinner party:
Do not arrive early. For this there is no exception. Lizzie Post is very clear: “Walk around the block, go pick up some fresh flowers, anything. It is rude and it puts your host in an uncomfortable position, so whatever you do, do not arrive before the time listed on the card.”
In the (regrettable, but likely) event you are running late, be up front with the host about your E.T.A., perhaps even overestimate. Many a data plan has been exhausted with minute-to-minute updates about getting on fictitious trains or phantom pileups on the F.D.R. Be brief and honest and leave the protracted sagas to Tolstoy. Also, give the host permission to proceed without you, and if you’re going to be more than an hour late, Post advises, “Ask the host if it’s better if you just don’t come.”
Be ready when you said the evening would begin. It sounds pretty simple, but it’s a common mistake, Post laments. “One of the easiest mistakes that hosts and hostesses make is that they’re not ready on time. Let’s say you told people to arrive at seven. Chances are people will get there between 7 and 7:30, but you tell people to arrive at 7, and at 7, you’ve still got way too much stuff on the stovetop and you haven’t laid out the hors d’oeuvres or drinks.”
“The good gracious host is going to welcome the uninvited guest in. They’re going to figure out how to rearrange the plates, add an extra place setting, and make it work. Make an uninvited guest feel just as comfortable.” Cher Horowitz grandstanding aside, the more may be the merrier, but it is not your call as a guest. As many etiquette conventions have fallen away, this one is timeless: do not bring someone unless you have cleared it with the host first. Even if it is not a seated dinner, it is not a barn raising. More than likely it will be fine, but who are you to decide? If an unexpected plus-one materializes, Post offers,